


Fears of the Future

by Lotuslia



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-14
Updated: 2016-01-14
Packaged: 2018-05-13 23:42:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5721472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lotuslia/pseuds/Lotuslia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A drabble saved here as I delete my sideblog. <br/>You all have your doubts about the rebellion, but sometimes it hits harder than usual. Never, though, did you expect it to hit the most devoted member of your group like this. (Dis/Psii friendship drabble)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fears of the Future

Your journey has never been easy, and it never will be. This is a rebellion, a revolution, and though you are hoping to get as close to your goal as possible, you all know how it is going to end. None of you will live to see the perfect world you wish to make. Whether or not it will be created, is another thing altogether, and that is why you keep fighting. You risk your lives so it can be real for the future generations.

But sometimes, the knowledge of your short lifespans hits you all hard. Some of you it hits harder than the others, but all of you are affected by it. You see daymares of everyone dying, more vivid each day that takes you closer to your fates. You see Signless in the irons, Dolorosa being kept back in chains, Disciple barely making it out of there, and yourself being drugged so well that you can just watch and sway in place, barely staying awake enough to keep your eyes open.

It is terrible, but you live with the knowledge, because you have to. All four of you know, they have gotten the information out of you over a sweep ago. You are good at hiding things, but having all three of them demanding answers to your nervousness and reoccuring nightmares, you couldn’t hold up on your own for very long.

Even so, all of you hold on to hope. You thought you would be the first to break for real, to lose hope, and so it is a surprise when your oliveblooded sister, the one you’d always viewed as strong and fierce, someone who had seemed the most determined to see this through, is the one to approach you with a look that makes your bloodpusher hurt. You know she usually goes to her matesprit when in distress, but you understand this isn’t a topic she would want to talk about with him. She sits heavily at your side, and gives a wavery sigh that makes her sound about twenty sweeps older than she is. Hesitantly you move your hand to her shoulder, pulling her to sit closer, head resting on your shoulder. She stays silent, but her quiet shift to get more comfortable shows her appreciation to your gesture.

She speaks after a moment, and her words make you blink and pause for a moment, to gather your thoughts.

“We’re never going to make it to the end.” She says, and you know it's more of a statement than a question. You respond with a small shake of your head and sigh. 

“We- we’re going to get caught and they’ll kill him. You said s-so.” She continues, her voice breaking near the end, but she takes a breath and keeps going. “-I’ve been thinking we could avoid it, but I don’t know, it feels so impossible… Aren’t you scared?” The question takes you a bit off guard, and you hum a little, nodding again. If you didn’t worry for her already, you might tell her just how much you worry every night, but you don’t want to stress her further. Besides, you can handle it.

“I am. I mean, I’ve seen it happen, I know it’s going to be terrible, but-” She shifts when you say that, and you mentally curse yourself for saying exactly the wrong thing. Her eyes look sad, and you can tell she’s trying to keep herself calm. “-But there’ll be change, there’s already some change. If we just push further, we may be able to change something for real.” You sigh.

“We MAY be able. That’s the problem, what if we don’t? And even if we do, I don’t want to just watch him die, and watch you and Rosa be hurt!” She nearly yells, but silence around you two keeps her quiet enough, as a reminder. She’s got tears in her eyes, and she’s facing you now, a frustrated and scared look on her face. You know she’s been thinking of this a lot recently, she never gives in to fear this easily.

Unfortunately, you’ve never been good with your words, and that doesn’t change even now. You look at her with an uncertain expression, trying to choose your words, but before you can speak, she’s raising her voice again. 

“I knew we’d never be safe, but I never wanted to believe it wouldn't end well somehow! I just wanted to have a life with him, with you all, and I thought we’d be able to avoid that fate… I believe his word, I do, and I'll go where this takes me. I know we all will. I don’t want to leave you three alone.” She rambles on, wiping her eyes to her sleeve, and sniffs audibly. This is your cue to move, and you shift, just on time to wrap your arms around her as she moves forward to hug you, her breaths turning shallow as she cries. “I’m just so scared of this.” She mumbles into your shirt, and you run your hand along her hair, trying to comfort her even a bit.

Her fear is making your chest hurt, even though you two are in no way bound by quadrants. But she is your friend, and you treat her like a hatchmate, a sister, if that is a suitable way to call it. You try to shoosh her, and it comes out a bit slurred by your teeth, but neither of you care. You just let her cry, speaking comforting words when you can come up with any, and hope with all your being that there is some way to get you all out of this mess safely. You know there isn’t, but you want to give her that hope back, at the very least.

A long while later she seems to be calming down, still clinging onto your shoulders but you let her. It’s not your place to be shooing her off, and you don’t want to. She needs this, so she can keep going on fighting the fate of your group. Her belief is strong, stronger than yours, though you also believe in your friend with all your being. You know she’ll hold onto hope until the very end, but you know she needs time to think about this, as well. Signless passes by while she’s recovering from her fear, and you shoo him off quietly. He gives an understanding yet guilty look and leaves without a sound, and you know you’ll have a second task in calming him, after you’ve parted with her. 

Sometimes you wonder if it would be better if you never told them the truth. 

For now, you just sit there with your head resting on hers, chin between her horns, and a hand quietly untangling her messy hair, as she breathes quietly and rests.


End file.
